April 6, 2018 will be a day we all remember.
Looking back five years ago until now we are all at different places in life.
I had the opportunity to chat with Robin Lukan, mother of Conner Lukan, who was one of the individuals who passed away in the Bronco accident.
After losing your son in the accident how did you and your family journey through the grief and process the accident? What moments might stick out more than others. Did staying in contact with the others impacted help your journey? What else was helpful?
Our lives for the first year after the accident was a blur! We tried to attend everything that we were invited to and by the end of the year we were finally able to just grieve alone. Then it seemed like all of our lives changed immensely!
Not only did the accident happen but we also lost four other family members in a span of six months around the accident from November to April 30th! After Conner’s funeral we also had Conner's great grandmother’s funeral who had passed away February 14th, but we were waiting until spring to hold her service. Then the unthinkable happened - Grandma Lukan passed away! She was the glue that held everyone together. We believe she died of a broken heart! She lost her son going to a hockey game who also wore #12 when he was 21 years old. Then this accident happened, and it was déjà vu as Conner was #12 and 21.
For the first year it was really good to communicate with the other families and get to know more about their sons and hear stories from everyone. Then it seemed we had to step back and just concentrate on us.
What has been the focus for you and your family? How has life changed over the past 5 years?
Our family overcame a lot of obstacles and emotional situations in the past five years but now I believe we are stronger and closer than ever. When something like this happens, everyone deals with it in different ways, and it changes you. I know speaking for myself only is that I will never be the same person I was before the accident. I am more anxious about everything that I do. I try to problem solve for everyone and I need to step back and take care of me now. Lorne, Conner's dad used to be a realtor and has since retired from that and now is concentrating on his passion- cooking. He bought a food trailer and does catering. He needed to be happy, and he finally is. Conner's brother Kolby and sister Kennedy both went through ups and downs in relationships, work, school, etc. Kolby is now very happy and a successful oilfield operator in Slave Lake. Kennedy completed her education degree and is now a grade three teacher in Slave Lake.
Are there moments where you still feel connected to Conner? For me, it's finding dimes and I feel that is a message from our loved ones who have passed that you're on the right path. Do you have anything like that to share?
I believe that finding dimes is Conner saying hi or reaching out to be with us. I am also continually finding psychics and mediums that help me more than any psychologist could ever do! Conner is always the main focus of all my medium visits and that reassures me that he is at peace. I am a gardener and when I have a butterfly in my garden with me, I find myself talking to it as though it is Conner flying around me checking up on us and making sure we are okay!
I want to thank the Lukan family for sharing their story.
If you or someone you know is wanting to reach out and share their story, please contact me: sarah.miller@goldenwest.ca.
Remember there are supports available for individuals and families dealing with loss and grief.
https://cmha.ca/find-help/how-to-get-help/