April 6, 2018, will be a day we all remember.
Looking back five years ago until now we are all at different places in life.
I had the opportunity to chat with Carol Brons, mother of Danya Brons, who was one of the individuals who passed away in the Bronco accident.
After losing your daughter in the accident how did you and your family journey through the grief and process the accident? What moments might stick out more than others. Did staying in contact with the others impacted help your journey? What else was helpful?
For about the first year, I truly felt like a blur of emotions and stress. I don't think I processed the reality of Dayna's death very quickly because of the trauma and extra attention surrounding it. Every "first" was difficult, but so was the second. Now it is the fifth and it seems hard to believe that it can be that long. I'm close to most of my family and have them to lean on, but it can be hard for them to relate to our loss. My other children, their spouses/significant others and husband are my real supporters and I am theirs. I also draw on support from my social worker and the other families, especially the families in the Humboldt area and find strength in them. I also find comfort in talking or connecting with others who have lost a child.
What has been the focus for you and your family? How has life changed over the past 5 years.
Very little has been the same in my life since April 2018 and I am not the same person. Since Dayna's death, I have tried to focus on healing, myself and my family. I have also taken on many other issues, first and foremost, Truck driving and highway safety. Lyle and I, along with Chris Joseph, Lawrence and Ginny Hunter created Safer Roads Canada in March 2019. Through social media, we connected with Patti Fair, Dr. Ahmed Shalaby and Brenda Jones. Pattie Fair, from BC, lost her husband in 2017 in BC in a collision with a semi and was spearheading a petition to have changes made to the trucking industry. Dr. Shalaby is a professor at University of Manitoba who has an interest in highway safety and is a Civil Engineer. Brenda Jones is a public relations consultant and communications instructor. Together we formed the not-for-profit Safer Roads Canada to promote and advocate for more training, better oversight and enforcement of the trucking industry across Canada. Although Patti, Ginny, Lawrence and Brenda have backed away from working with Safer Roads Canada, we are continuing to work with other advocate groups to create safer highways.
In August of 2018, I connected with Stu Middleton from Hockey Gives Blood. Hockey Gives Blood was created shortly after the Broncos bus crash to increase the number of young blood donors across Canada. My eldest daughter, Janelle and I are working with HGB and Blood Services Canada to promote blood donations as well as joining the stem cell donation and organ donor registries.
This year, we talked to the Humboldt Broncos and the Battleford North Stars about the Hockey Gives Blood It Takes a Team Challenge and helped them arrange team blood donor clinics and stem cell swabbing events for the teams. We are hoping to take this initiative to all of the SJHL teams.
I am also involved with the Humboldt Broncos Memorial committee as one of the family representatives on the committee. Along with Kurt Leicht, Ed Tobin and now Bernie Boulet, we are working toward creating meaningful memorials and tributes at the crash site along with the proposed Tribute Center in Humboldt.
As a family, we also advise several of the scholarship committees that award scholarships in Dayna's memory. To date there are eight scholarships, awards or bursaries across Canada and into the United States. We are truly humbled by knowing that Dayna's name will be remembered.
One of the most healing projects I was involved in was the Humboldt Urban Garden Sanctuary at the Humboldt and District Hospital. Although I was not part of the planning, I became involved during the construction of the garden, helping to organize volunteers. I spent several days throughout the summer of 2021, moving rocks, placing edging stones and sod. Working with Leslie and Ron Cornell from Moose Jaw, who oversaw most of the project, and Roger and Sheila Nordick, from Humboldt Communities in Bloom, along with many volunteers, I was able to "get my hands dirty" and find some emotional healing.
Are there moments where you still feel connected to Dayna? For me, it's finding dimes and I feel that is a message from our loved ones who have passed that you're on the right path. Do you have anything like that to share?
There are many times I feel connected to Dayna. Sometimes it might be finding a dime in a strange place, or hearing "Brown-eyed Girl" on the radio. I also feel connected when I'm outside, looking at the clouds formations or the way the sunset glows. I know Dayna has led me to become involved in other projects or meeting other people because they simply were not part of my life before.
Being invited to James Smith Cree Nations and then to be part of the Grand Entry at FSIN powwow in Saskatoon last fall, are just two of the times I know Dayna was leading me forward.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
One of my favourite stories about Dayna's time with the Broncos is the boys singing "Happy Birthday" to Dayna at restaurants so she would get a free dessert. Dayna's birthday is in May, so it was not during the hockey season, but the boys started singing Happy Birthday at various times. Sometimes Dayna would tell the servers that it wasn't her birthday and the players would end up paying for the dessert. Dayna was pretty easygoing and could usually take a joke, but also liked to pay it back.
I would like to close with a huge thank you to the communities around Humboldt, who are still supporting us and helping us heal.
I want people to know there is no agenda to grief and it may appear like someone is "done grieving", but you never truly are. The person may be moving forward, but there is still a hole in their lives and you never know when the scab will be pulled off and the pain returns.
I want to thank the Brons family for sharing their story.
If you or someone you know is wanting to reach out and share their story please contact me: sarah.miller@goldenwest.ca.
Remember, there are supports available for individuals and families dealing with loss and grief.
https://cmha.ca/find-help/how-to-get-help/