Local families who would like to share the journey of having a child with autism — in all its beauty and its obstacles — have a place to gather and connect in Plum Coulee and Altona thanks to Tiffany Fehr.
Fehr is the organizer of Shoulder to Shoulder, the area’s first autism support group.
"When we got the diagnosis for our daughter few years ago, I was looking for somebody or anything that had some kind of support group for parents to help us,” she says. “It's hard to relate to others that don't experience what we go through.”
Fehr says that while her search turned up results in communities further away like Niverville and Winnipeg, there was nothing local to her.
“I [thought], ‘well, I’m going to change that.’”
Fehr then established the group that has been going strong for a year now. The group’s number tends to fluctuate, but it has a consistent core. For Fehr, the success of the group and interest from outside of Altona and Plum Coulee is enough to encourage her to begin expanding the support group.
“We definitely have people that want to come,” she says. “There [are] a lot of families out in . . . the Winkler/Morden area that would like to come, so we're looking to branch out.”
Shoulder to Shoulder currently meets the second Wednesday of every month from 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. at Victory Family Church in Altona and Maple Manor in Plum Coulee. The group invites parents, grandparents, and caregivers of children with autism to join them to build community.
While Fehr acknowledges that it can sometimes be difficult to make the first step of joining a support group, she’s confident that the benefits outweigh the discomfort.
“As soon as you get in there, you let yourself come to the group and you sit down and you get to see these families that really understand you,” she says. “They understand what you're going through and you don't need to explain everything that's going on because they can look at you and they just get it.”
According to Fehr, attendees tend to leave with an overwhelming sense of community — even without speaking.
“You don't need to talk if you don't want to,” she says. “We've had people that just sit there for a bit because they don't want to open up yet, and I understand. You don't want to just open up . . . until you're comfortable.”
Fehr notes that for those who do eventually choose to share, the experience is enriching.
“I've seen it with some parents,” she says. “They're quiet at first, and then they start opening up. It's beautiful because — oh, it's like a just a breath of fresh air. When you can finally just talk to people that understand what you're going through.”
Ultimately, Fehr’s objective for the group is straightforward.
“My goal is to reach as many families as we can in the area that want to come, and I just really hope that they find the courage to show up.”
For Fehr herself, the support group has been instrumental in connecting her to the community.
“For a long time, I felt like I lived in solitude. That's what it was for me for a long time,” she says. “I extended myself and tried to find [people with autism in the family], . . . and some families reached out right away. These people keep coming to the group [and] they've helped in many different ways.”
In addition to the possibility of installing support groups in more communities, Fehr is also in the midst of creating avenues to accept donations for the group. The funds will go to generating more exposure for the autism support group through advertising. Fehr says that funds may also go to providing children with autism accessible events that get them out into the community with their families comfortably.
Fehr says that the donations need not be monetary. Shoulder to Shoulder is also looking for venues in Winkler (or Morden) to hold its support group.
“I really just want to reach all the families that need help. That is my goal,” she says. “That's what I would like to do, whatever that looks like.”
Anyone who wishes to donate to Shoulder to Shoulder can reach out to its Instagram page here. If you would like more information about the group or how to join it or its chat, see the Instagram page or email shouldertoshoulder23@gmail.com.
~With files from Ty Hildebrand~