September is a transitional time. As families adjust to a new school year (and a new schedule) and the community experiences the season change and looks ahead to colder months, everyone — whether it’s subtle or dramatic — is undergoing a shift. It's common for discomfort to come along with these changes.
“Those things are happening, and they're there, and we're going to naturally [see] the hard things about the change. I think that's how we're wired — to notice all the things that could be hard about these changes. They don't have to be,” says Christine Elias, who is a counselor Pembina Counselling Centre. “I always think of this one client [I had] who was quite anxious, and I just loved how she started to think about it. At first, it was all the awful things that could come about, and then she looked at me and said, ‘what if it's awesome?’ I love that switch in attitude.”
For Elias, the first step of addressing the discomfort that may materialize during transitional seasons is to understand what anxiety is and how it functions.
“Sometimes, we know it's happening, but why is it happening? Anxiety tells us that this problem, this potential risk is so big [that] we can't handle it, so we maximize, we overestimate the threat and underestimate our ability to cope with it,” she says. “We've already been through lots of hard things, and we did it, but anxiety tells us, ‘no, this one's going to be too hard.’”
Elias says that her a favourite analogy for anxiety comes from a book called “Counselling Insights.”
“Anxiety is there for a purpose. It's our alarm system. [Say] we're going on a hike — we see a mother bear with cubs, our alarms start ringing, and [they] should. It's telling us, ‘you need to do something to keep yourself safe'. But if our smoke alarm is too close to the toaster, it's going off when there are very harmless things going on,” she says. “So, we want to recognize when our alarm goes off and it's not something that's dangerous, and then we want tools to know how to turn it down and turn it off.”
Once anxiety has been identified, for Elias, one effective way to deal with it is simple, but not necessarily easy.
“This is probably no shock, but I think the best thing to do when we’re feeling anxious is to talk to someone,” she says. “I don’t mean just a counselor — I mean your mom, or your sister, or your good friend, or [your] neighbour. When we talk to someone, I think we get [an] objective opinion.”
Of course, for anyone who would like to talk to a counselor, that is always an option, too. In Elias’ view, an impediment to seeking one out is that often people do not want to impose.
“For many of us, it's hard to ask for help, and I think one of the common [things] I hear is that [people] don't want to burden someone else with what they're going through,” she says. “It's like protecting the other person, but I like [to ask] why . . . other people's needs are much more important than our own.”
Elias says that she herself has a counsellor, which perhaps acts as a reassurance that everyone needs a listening ear from time to time.
“Maybe it's helpful to know that counselors see counselors as well,” she says. “Not only do we believe in what we do, but we show that by even going to our own counselors. I recently started again for myself.”
Elias has worked as a counselor for seven years now. She says that both her faith and her love of people led her to her career.
“I wanted to do something with purpose, and I noticed that in my life, people were telling me their stories,” she says. “It was a natural fit for me for someone to share what was going on in their life, and I wanted tools to help them.”
For Elias, the best part of her job is seeing people become unstuck. She says that when someone grows from a place of having no hope to being filled with it, “it makes [her] job.”
To connect with a counselor at Pembina Counselling Centre (which has locations in Winkler, Morden, and Altona) to address the anxieties of this transitional season or anything else, see its website here. The website has pictures and biographies for each counsellor, so Elias encourages reading through and finding a profile that fits one’s needs. For those who would prefer a phone call, the centre can be reached at 204-822-6622.
“If you don't know who you want to request, I think the front staff are very good at matching people with . . . [a counselor that] would be a good fit,” she says.
For Elias, counselling is an opportunity to gain outside perspective on thoughts that one struggles with or struggles to move past.
“We need connection with other humans like we need oxygen. That's what attachment theory teaches us,” she says. “[It's important to share] what's going on in your heart — something that's probably been rumbling around in your head for a long time . . . . We build it into something very big, but no one is speaking to that. Where is that objective perspective? That’s what counselling can give us.”
In addition to offering mental health services to the community, Pembina Counselling Centre will also be hosting its inaugural N49 Cruise for Hope fundraiser on September 21st. The event will feature an afternoon and evening of fun, food, and community. For more information, click here.
~With files from Ty Hildebrand and Jayme Giesbrecht~