"An answer to prayer"
Arbhakka's Karl and Tracey Bueckert prayed for another child after their son Myles was born, and ten years later, Elliott was born in 2019.
Tracey called him "an answer to prayer.”
"He was just a funny little guy; he was determined. He was a climber, which was very strange for us because his brother was not a climber. He loved being outside, and in the garden, and in the puddles, and he loved his chickens, dogs, and cat, and always trying to pick up the cat, even though the cat was bigger than him. It was hard to keep him inside, and he just was lots and lots of fun and lots of energy."
Throughout the summer of 2023, Elliott would have fevers every three months, and at the end of June, they were told he had a virus. His stomach pain and fever were not going away, and in August, his stomach was still really big and really hard on the left side.
"Something was not right"
So, Tracey took him to see the family doctor.
"She wanted an X-ray, but living in a tiny town, our X-ray Department had left at noon, so we weren't able to get one. And then she called the next day and said not to worry about the X-ray." asking, "Can you come for blood work? I'm going to send you for an ultrasound at Children's (Hospital) (CH) to see when they can get you in. Hopefully soon."
They received a call from CH that afternoon requesting them to come in the following day.
On September 20th, they found a mass in his abdomen.
"He was still happy and playing, and hindsight, he had slowed down. Like looking back, thinking about it, he was walking slower. He was getting more tired, not eating as much."
"It was scary."
The atmosphere had changed in the ultrasound room, according to Bueckert and she knew something was wrong. The lab technician gave Elliott a popsicle and took him for a walk as Tracey met with the Oncologist who confirmed they would be checking for cancer.
She told her dad, who had given them a ride to the hospital, they wouldn't be leaving the hospital, and she called Karl to tell him to come to the hospital.
"When they said it was cancer, it was just scary and overwhelming, and you just didn't know what to expect."
Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Support Group
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They stayed in the hospital until the Friday before Thanksgiving and when they arrived home, there was already a package waiting for them in the mail from Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Support Group (CCCSG) with "a blanket and coffee mugs and water bottle and gift certificate for groceries and gift cards for groceries and stuff to help."
Bueckert said knowing that someone is there to lighten the load a little bit and to know someone is there in the background really helps because they were feeling “fairly alone,” even though they were going through it as a family.
Living in a rural community, two hours from the CH, she is grateful for the parking passes and other support from CCCSG and a place to stay at the Ronald McDonald House, where families with sick children can stay. She noted being able to stay close by was really helpful for early morning appointments and for Karl, who was driving back and forth to look after the farm back home.
Following the Thanksgiving weekend and a biopsy that showed the tumor was very close to his spleen, he went back to CH the following Tuesday for chemo treatments with the goal of shrinking the tumor enough to safely remove it.
It did shrink by 30%.
Just before his fourth birthday in November, they removed the 1.1kg tumor from his little body.
"It's scary going into surgery. Very scary. And it didn't get easier over time because he had a few surgeries, so it was really scary. The first one was the scariest, the second one was also the scariest. They're all just scary," she admitted, "And surgery is huge, and you don't know what they're going to find and what's going to happen."
"He did really well. Our surgeon was amazing."
She said pain control and life for an active little boy had its challenges during his time in the hospital but despite the circumstances, he handled it amazingly.
Bueckert values the connections made with other families in the hospital going through similar journeys and the support they received from Candlelighters. Whether it was a quick answer to questions or the exciting Tuesday mornings when pastries and fruit would be delivered to CK5 or the Thursday suppers, giving families a change from the hospital cafeteria food.
Stem Cell Transplant
"At the end of December of 2023. He had another CT scan, and they found spots in his lungs, so he had to have a biopsy in January of 2024. Where they removed a small part of his lung and a biopsy, and they found that cancer had grown in his lung while he was on treatment. So then, our first course of action got put aside and then we did a stem cell transplant."
Using his own stem cells, they gave them back to him after he had chemo, according to Bueckert. Then he was giving radiation treatments. He was in the hospital from January to the end of March, when he was given the "all clear." The cancer was gone, and the scans were clear by June.
He was sent home to enjoy the summer with just regular appointments.
"He was eating. He didn't have his feeding tube anymore. He was doing really well just going nonstop pretty much outside, in the garden. He loved, loved, loved, loved the garden and planting, and even weeding, and picking potato bugs and watching things grow. We planted corn and like 2 days later he's asking when he can eat it, but it wasn't big enough yet."
By August, he was getting more tired and more "blah."
"He was trying to fall asleep in church and we're like, 'Hey, something doesn't seem right.' But he's still acting. OK, just more tired. And then, it was a Sunday night when Karl and I looked at each other and we were watching him breathing and we were like, he's breathing differently, he was breathing really fast. It felt like sort of like, this isn't normal."
The next day, they took him back to the clinic.
It was confirmed something wasn't right and he had a chest x-ray done to see if he had pneumonia.
"Cancer had come back with a vengeance"
After a CT scan, it was determined the cancer had "cancer had come back with a vengeance." Bueckert said in June there was nothing and by August, it was affecting his breathing, and it had grown a lot.
"He was just sleeping, and we didn't know if we would ever get to see him smile or hear him say I love you or anything. So, that was that was really hard and to hear them say that he has cancer again and it's back. I actually felt worse than the first time. The first time was terrible. This was just worse."
Bueckert said they were told in Spring the cancer would come back because he had Li–Fraumeni syndrome (LFS). A rare genetic syndrome that can lead to an increased risk of several types of cancer.
Knowing this could happen was in the back of their minds, but they didn't realize it would be this soon.
"Once they got the pain under control and the pain medication under control, then he woke up more and he was doing really well. We were then put in touch with the palliative team because they didn't have any options. We didn't have options for Elliott."
Her voice cracked and the weight of her grief was felt in her swallow before she carried on.
"Our options were to give him quality of life. It was really hard to meet with them because you know, once you meet with palliative team, you know there will be an end, sooner than anybody wants."
Elliott went back on chemo to try to shrink the tumor relieve pressure and to get him down to a stable level and it worked.
Going home
Other than a few short trips home, one resulting in the family turning around shortly after arriving home to return to the hospital, Elliott was in the hospital. This was hard for everybody but there were a couple of good stretches at home.
"He got to eat his corn that he planted. We got home and the first thing he wanted to do, he didn't want to come in the house, He needed to go to the garden and pick corn, and he needed to go check out the garden" She wiped the tears from her eyes. "He had to eat the corn right then and there, like peel the corn and start eating it."
She recalled pushing him in a stroller to the ditch where he liked to throw stones.
Bueckert said turning 5 is quite special.
In November, Bueckert tasked family and friends to throw Elliott a Rainbow Dinosaur birthday party for his 5th birthday, just before another round of chemo.
He had asked Bueckert's sister to make him a cake.
"He was very excited about turning 5 but it was really hard knowing that you're planning your child's last birthday party."
A cousin found a dinosaur costume, when he woke up that morning there was a birthday message on the white board in his room, the nurses and doctors came in to say happy birthday. He didn't want anyone to sing very loud, so they whisper-sang to him.
"He was just happy grinning. And we made it a special day for him in the hospital, especially as we could."
December 2024
He did get to go home and play in the snow and set up the Christmas tree.
"He loved it. He just smiled the whole time. And just loved it."
"Getting in the car, everything just felt different getting in the car like that was just different."
Thanks to a Brooke and Koda Iced Tea Stand in Steinbach, Karl was able to stay with the family without having to go to work.
Elliott's little body wasn't recovering enough to start chemo again and neither were his blood counts. His body was tired, even though he was still smiling and playing.
"I had once asked the doctor, 'How do you know when it's time to be done? When it's time to stop?' His body was telling us that it was tired, and it was not recovering as well."
Elliott's body made the decision on December 29, 2024, when he peacefully passed away.
Gratitude
She expressed her family's gratitude for the care they received at CH where they were able to spend Elliott's last days together as a family. She added their gratitude for prayers and support from family, friends and their church.
"When he was diagnosed the second time, we thought we were going to lose him then and we prayed and prayed and prayed and God blessed us with another four and a half months. Unfortunately, he wasn't healed on Earth, but we fully believe he was healed in Heaven. So, knowing that helps a lot."
Bueckert is grateful for all who supported the Candlelighters' Online Auction this Spring. The Bueckerts are one of seven families who lost a child since December in Manitoba. Some of the funds raised go towards supporting these families and others going through childhood cancer journey.
Bueckert was pleased to donate her own items and have family donate as well. A birdhouse, a tool kit, and a blanket in memory of Elliott were some of the items they donated.
Hope
"In December, when we were home at the beginning of December. Elliot had asked Jesus into his heart." Bueckert said knowing he is in Heaven has brought them peace, quickly adding, "It doesn't make it easier, because it's not easy."
She said the hope comes from knowing God is with them and won't abandon them.
