After eight years of extensive research, Christian author and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn is busting marriage and divorce myths.
Feldhahn is the author of For Women Only and For Men Only. Her brand new book about marriage statistics is The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce. The idea behind the book is that divorce isn't the biggest obstacle to marriage, it's discouragement.
The biggest myth that has been believed by many for years is that 50 per cent of marriages end in divorce. Feldhahn had heard and believed it too.
"When I started looking at the Census Bureau tables and CDC tables, and the Bureau of Vital Statistics – that's when I was like – 'wait a minute this does not match the narrative at all," says Feldhahn in an interview.
The eight years of searching for a real number to stand on brought Feldhahn to see that it wasn't such a simple question or answer as to the actual divorce rate.
"Seventy-one per cent of people are still married to their first spouse," she told the Christian radio network. "But that's not the true story either. Because that includes everybody who was married for 50 years and their spouse died."
After taking into account the death of a spouse, the actual divorce rate is roughly 25 per cent, according to Feldhahn.
"At one time, a 50 per cent divorce rate in the future was actually a reasonable projection. No-fault divorce entered the U.S. courts in 1972, which led to an explosion of divorces. Demographers of the day got really concerned and said, 'Oh my goodness if this trend keeps up, we're going to hit a 50 per cent divorce rate someday.' But just a few short years later, in 1980, the divorce rate began to trend down. We never got close to hitting the 50% projection. That is what has not been corrected in the public opinion."
One statistic about marriage did surprise Feldhahn; the age of people getting married.
"People are getting married at slightly older ages (over 25) – and when you get married very young, those people have a higher divorce rate risk."
According to the research, couples that attend church also have a lower rate of getting divorced.
"We need to change the paradigm of how we talk about marriage – from marriage being in trouble and all this discouraging stuff to saying, 'No, wait. Most marriages are strong and happy for a lifetime. That makes a total difference to a couple who can now say, 'You know what? Most people get through this and we can, too.'"