When it comes to end-of-life planning, most of us have a knack for avoidance. But Dorothy Stephens, volunteer extraordinaire with Dying with Dignity Canada, is here to change that. With a twinkle in her eye and decades of experience as a nurse, she’s the kind of person who can make even the most daunting topics approachable.
Who is Dorothy Stephens?
"I’ve been talking to people about advanced care planning and end-of-life planning for about 10 years now," says Stephens, whose nursing career spanned over 30 years in Winnipeg. She’s seen it all—patients unsure of what they want, families in heated debates, and the unmistakable confusion of “I don’t know. Never thought about it."
Her mission? To get people thinking and talking about what they want before life throws a curveball. "We plan everything else in our lives," Stephens points out, "but most people don’t want to think or talk about planning for serious illness or end-of-life care."
Why talk about it?
As Stephens explains, modern technology has turned death into a medical affair, often far removed from home and family. "Families used to be closer," she says. "Now, with all the technology, death has become medicalized. People get their notions of serious illness or dying from TV shows and movies, which are notoriously inaccurate and overly optimistic."
The result? Families are left scrambling when tough decisions need to be made. "Advanced care planning is about thinking and communicating your ideas, values, and wishes for healthcare decisions," Stephens explains. "Who do you want making decisions for you if you can’t?"
The nitty-gritty of advanced care planning
Stevens’ presentations cover a wide range of topics, from healthcare directives to the legalities of appointing a decision-maker. "A healthcare directive is different from a power of attorney," she clarifies. "Power of attorney is for finances, not health."
She also provides practical advice on discussing your wishes with loved ones and making sure your plans don’t get lost in the shuffle. "It’s not just about writing things down; it’s about communicating clearly," she emphasizes. "A blank form doesn’t help much if no one knows what you mean by ‘I don’t want to be kept alive with tubes.’ You need to describe the ‘if.’"
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When should you start planning?
According to Stephens, the right time to start is earlier than you think. "In Manitoba, you can create a healthcare directive at 16," she says. "But most people wait until they’re older—often too late. Serious illnesses and accidents can happen at any age."
She encourages middle-aged individuals to help their parents navigate the process. "A lot of older folks aren’t as tech-savvy," she notes, "but their kids can help them access resources online and start those conversations."
Making it personal
Dying with Dignity Canada offers resources to help people think through their decisions. "We don’t push any specific outcome," Stephens says. "It’s about understanding your options and making decisions that align with your beliefs and values."
And it’s not just about medical care. "These days, end-of-life planning includes digital documents—social media accounts, email subscriptions, passwords. It’s a whole new frontier," she adds with a knowing smile.
Dorothy’s key message
"What’s most important is communicating your beliefs and values," Stephens says. "That way, your family and healthcare team can interpret your wishes and make informed decisions."
For those unsure where to start, Stephens’ presentations offer templates, tips, and plenty of room for questions. "Manitoba’s law is flexible," she explains. "You can write your directive on any piece of paper. But people often don’t know what to say. That’s where we come in—with checklists, suggestions, and examples to help."
The bottom line
Advanced care planning might not be the most glamorous topic, but Stephens makes it accessible and—dare we say—engaging. "At the end of the day," she says, "it’s about ensuring your voice is heard, even when you can’t speak for yourself."
For more information or to attend one of Dorothy Stephens’ presentations, visit Dying with Dignity Canada’s website. Your future self—and your loved ones—will thank you.
With files from Robyn Wiebe